It wasn’t until recently have I viewed the last ten years or so of my life as having much meaning to it. I resigned from two well paying part-time jobs and let go of many active voluntarily positions on a variety Management Boards and Committees when I became completely rundown mentally and physically.
In everyday terms I saw my life as uneventful and boring and I didn’t feel that I achieved much in life. Whenever I’d go out it would be with a Support Worker to do the weekly shop, to go to an appointment or to go somewhere just to get out of the house. See, I didn’t believe that my life had any real purpose though I’ve never been one to sit around in front of the tv and watch hours of mindless nothing. I would just consistently reminisce about being in my prime time of my life, the few years after I finished school, when I’d go and meet friends wherever and whenever without a second thought. Or I would attend a committee meeting and arrive home to an empty house too late to have the need for dinner
I didn’t believe that I had done anything meaningful until a complete stranger asked me how I filled my time. Immediately I said proudly, I write and post my own blogs then suddenly I stalled and became lost for words. I stalled and thought, what now, I can’t say that I do my shopping weekly or if I need to get out of the house I go and have fish and chips near the water and be back in time for my Support Workers to leave in time to pick up their kids from school. Damn! What do I do that has meaning? This person could be my absolutely last chance to make something of my life, you know the “rags to riches” story. Thankfully for me, the conversation moved on quickly from wanting to know about my daily life.
Not too long after this, I mentioned that I pay my Support Workers through a company which I manage myself and this was a light bulb moment for both of us. Two different light bulbs, theirs being of the older type, when the switch was flicked on and in an instant a bright ray of light floods the room. Whereas, mine was of the newer variety, you know, you turn on a light switch now and it slowly lights up a room. That’s me! The realisation or the fact that I am a successful business woman didn’t seem to hold much importance to me at all.
Whether it is because for the past 12 months everything has been running smoothly due to my excellent working relationship with each staff member or I have been managing the company for twelve years and it has just become part of me, I’m not sure. There are two things that I am sure of now and they are: One, I do live a meaningful life though sometimes to me, it does not feel like it. And two, I am already an entrepreneur who can and will expand in all areas of life.